Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he was CRYING into my vagina
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
