i would punch a child for taco bell
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
