stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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