There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
