I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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