Whats the glycemic index on semen?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
