I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
