Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
