I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
