I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
