Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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