This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
