i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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