we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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