Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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