sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
