And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
