So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
