Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
