I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
