Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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