the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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