if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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