Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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