is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
