Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
