imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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