i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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