she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
