I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
