what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
