i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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