Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Dick very happy bro
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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