im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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