508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
