How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
