we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
