Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
