eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
