he wants to bone in the snuggie
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
