thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Randomize
