just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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