I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
