This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
