wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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