Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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