It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
