How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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