Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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