Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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